and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
