I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
