so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
