How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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