I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
