I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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