Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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