is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
