So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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