there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
