Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
