sorry about calling you the devil all night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
