After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
