You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize