Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
