we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
