I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
