By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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