Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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