I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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