she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
