also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
