I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize