If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
