Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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