You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
