Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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