Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
