and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
