brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize