I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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