If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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