she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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