I CAN MOONWALK!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
