Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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