Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
