so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am midnight drunk by noon
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
