Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
