I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize