You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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