Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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