remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
