How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
