he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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