Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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