So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
