Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
