Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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