i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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