I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
