Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
