I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
