I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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