____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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