What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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