how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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