I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
