pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
