oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
