I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
