My liver just broke up with me...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
