I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
